Old 03-23-2017, 02:55 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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"One of the commonest mistakes is thinking your worries are over when your children get married. "
Kin Hubbard

locodad on 2014-03-11 13:13:59
unfortunately they live too close to you and will comeback to their mommy or daddy for help,guaranteed.

JenDiaz72 on 2015-01-15 10:31:28
Always thought "commonist" sounded strange when you could just say "most common"...

LLapp on 2015-07-02 11:37:37
I am not now and have never been a commonest.

sloopy72 on 2016-12-06 09:07:07
Three great comments for this one!
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Old 03-29-2017, 03:16 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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Default Ancient Chinese Proverb-No, not Calgon

"Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet."
Chinese Proverb

opallady on 2011-01-06 19:31:40
Always choose the right tool for the job.

maradnu on 2012-02-04 21:31:13
Use a hammer instead

montyb on 2012-05-14 12:32:21
"Any tool's the right tool." -- Red Green

nelnose on 2012-07-26 07:06:36
**** What friends.

universalmom on 2013-02-26 00:40:40
I wonder if he figured that out by trial and error...

kjmcaj on 2013-04-07 18:21:12
281 seconds

saipanwriter on 2013-06-27 03:37:35
thank you all-especially universalmom. great comments. hilarious quote-quite fun

montyb on 2014-01-23 18:03:33
You know, if you turn the hatchet sideways, it's just like a big fly swatter. I don't see a downside.

marnita on 2014-07-15 14:55:44
A rather heavy fly swatter, Monty!

universalmom on 2014-08-24 14:58:55
thank you saipan

montyb on 2015-06-15 09:04:52
Aerobic workout for the swatter, Marnita.

oddcouple on 2015-06-23 01:20:09
Would you call that overkill?

mikehallbackhoe on 2015-09-26 10:51:59
Monty, do you find it difficult to keep friends ?

kb83 on 2016-04-15 02:34:20
And if its your enemy, why not bury the hatchet?
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Old 04-01-2017, 03:14 AM
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Bethmarywhite Bethmarywhite is offline
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Originally Posted by LLapp View Post
"As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words." William Shakespeare

bvwRedux on 2012-02-16 02:11:19
And yet it hath been done, that snow is melted and stripped by marvelous electrodes into fuel and air -- hydrogen the first, and oxygen the latter -- then kindled easily, so too is lust's sudden flame easily quenched with a blanket of careful words.
I don't have a Kindle Fire, but if I did, I wouldn't want to lose it in the snow! They're expensive!
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Old 04-01-2017, 06:20 PM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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Default Classic punch line

"People blame themselves for the purpose of being praised." Proverb

montyb on 2015-01-21 15:09:58
I'm sorry for that. It's all my fault.

LLapp on 2016-03-13 08:49:37
No, no, Monty, I blame myself.

darkyr on 2016-04-12 04:53:40
Good job. Now I don't have to take the blame.

mmfs83 on 2016-08-30 09:41:27
None of you have to worry. According to my daughter in law, everything is my fault.
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Old 04-04-2017, 04:02 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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"After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. "
— Cato the Elder

bansaisequoia on 2009-08-18 21:45:09
I just want to cremated. I've urned it.

bansaisequoia on 2010-05-12 00:25:48
I just want to be cremated. I've urned it.

fishbum on 2011-03-07 04:46:58
Well, he finally made an ash of himself.

kb77 on 2011-09-19 09:37:28
you're so cremative with your jokes guys.

chopstix on 2013-01-29 03:28:14
you yuks! hey, is that a photo of a monument?

Allen on 2013-08-07 14:00:46
That just burns me up!

momof7 on 2013-10-05 14:58:03
Your gallows humour is just ashking for it.

opallady on 2013-10-15 12:10:42
For the music you could request "Come on Baby, Light my Fire."

kb83 on 2015-04-27 03:44:00
Isn't it strange, to have "after I'm dead" at the beginning rather than later on in the sentence?

montyb on 2015-11-13 15:03:15
You guys apparently don't appreciate the grave-ity of the sentiment. on 2015-12-28 07:28:09
Nah, forget the monument, way too many birds.
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Old 04-08-2017, 02:52 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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"Seeing a murder on television can help work off one's antagonisms. And if you haven't any antagonisms, the commercials will give you some."
Alfred Hitchcock

BriddlesBob on 2014-11-21 05:54:20
now that's one for the birds!

Roxanne on 2016-01-07 15:28:10
I confess, I have a suspicion that this cryptogram gave many of us vertigo.
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Old 04-08-2017, 04:53 PM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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"Those who try to give us advice on matters of human rights do nothing but provoke an ironic smile among us. We will not permit anyone to interfere in our affairs." Konstantin Chernenko

JJ20paws on 2016-01-19 05:02:18
My mom interferes in mine all the time

kleinw2000 on 2016-08-30 04:41:41
JJ20paws, have you tried giving her an ironic smile?
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Old 04-09-2017, 12:50 AM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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"Where God builds a church the devil builds a chapel." Martin Luther

kb83 on 2014-07-26 17:38:30
Sounds a bit symbiotic.

mazereeuw on 2014-09-29 15:51:44
Often I think it's God who builds the chapel while the devil builds himself a cathedral.

universalmom on 2015-01-05 03:03:43
wow maz, I like that! Too true.

haverwench on 2015-06-21 05:49:11
What does God build where the devil builds a toll plaza?

abra on 2016-09-10 13:32:48
A Cinnabon store.
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Old 04-11-2017, 03:06 PM
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aerie aerie is offline
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"When good men die their goodness does not perish, but lives though they are gone. As for the bad, all that was theirs dies and is buried with them."

chipmunkcheeks on 2010-10-02 02:53:58
Awesome name Euripides

Barnabas on 2013-10-26 05:28:53
Chipmunk, he got the name when he brought a torn toga to a tailor. The tailor said, "Eurpides, and I fixadees." And Euripidees said, "Nice to meet you, Fixadees."

darkyr on 2016-11-17 03:32:20
Sounds like the plot of an adventure movie. The new bad guy has to dig up the old bad guy to get his power, meanwhile the good guys have all of their goodness locked on display behind glass. By the time they find the key, things have gotten a bit spicy.
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Old 04-13-2017, 11:23 PM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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"I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate." Graham Greene

abra on 2013-06-12 18:07:35
I wonder what happened to them.

wordfairy on 2015-03-09 00:34:03
His grand dad re-appropriated them.

darkyr on 2017-03-29 06:33:25
He pawned them to pay his dental bill.
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