Old 07-01-2016, 05:24 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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"I am getting to an age when I can only enjoy the last sport left. It is called hunting for your spectacles."
Edward Grey

jeanering on 2012-02-02 23:32:42
I'm there.

gryhnd51 on 2012-06-27 01:31:30
and usually those spectacles are on top of your head....where you put them so they'd be handy but out of the way! I once had an appt with my eye doctor and he spent some time trying to find his own glasses. Three guesses to figure out where he put them....

fishbum on 2012-09-06 17:38:10
On your head?

puzzleme on 2013-04-06 07:59:06
Good one, fishbum!

nevadasmith68 on 2013-08-15 16:37:24
Edward went on to star in "Grey's Lobotomy".

tgreen517 on 2014-12-18 19:34:33
i don't have eyesight as an excuse as to why i can't find things...

Roxanne on 2016-03-03 12:22:30
Hunting for spectacles is sometimes half of a biathlon, the other half being figuring out the answer to "why am I standing here in the [fill in a room in your home]?"
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Old 07-01-2016, 11:29 AM
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aerie aerie is offline
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"I tried to commit suicide by sticking my head in the oven, but there was a cake in it."
Lesley Boone.

bansaisequoia on 2010-04-08 20:37:42
There was a cake in your head?

pootie49 on 2011-07-11 14:23:09
LOL LOL Bansai.

gryhnd51 on 2011-08-21 03:53:57
AHHH, Joseph K, but you a very witty man!

puzzleme on 2015-08-26 17:27:03
I think it's so funny that someone can make a witty remark here and no one laughs out loud until a year later.

LLapp on 2015-11-17 17:44:00
I love that. It's like another dimension. It's . . . the CRYPTO ZONE.

JJ20paws on 2016-01-26 11:37:54
Umm cake...
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Old 07-01-2016, 11:33 AM
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aerie aerie is offline
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Default Billiards vs. Doctors

The billiard table is better than the doctor."
Mark Twain

fredsevent on 2011-11-10 08:03:59
Sure, for playing billiards on anyway.

montyb on 2013-06-30 21:53:55
I'd like to see a billiard table perform a quadruple bypass.

LLapp on 2014-12-06 15:10:24
I'm with Sam. Pool is therapeutic.

tgreen517 on 2015-07-18 16:58:14
It is definitely more exersize than Cryptograms!

SwampySox on 2016-05-06 13:24:10
Black ball in the labcoat pocket.
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Old 07-01-2016, 01:17 PM
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YorkiesRule YorkiesRule is offline
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"Remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it. "
H.L. Mencken

wordfairy on 2014-10-01 19:42:49
I don't think that would sit well with the parole board.
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Old 07-01-2016, 01:45 PM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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Default Impossible Anatomy, part I

"I should like to lie at your feet and die in your arms." Voltaire

bonsaisequoia on 2009-07-28 17:09:06
Is that anatomically possible?

Lurker on 2010-01-25 22:59:59
Not at the same time.

LiveLoveLaugh on 2011-05-15 12:41:31
I can picture it

pootie49 on 2011-07-20 13:41:54
You would have to be very bendy.

gryhnd51 on 2012-04-15 03:01:10
To me, it sounds the way the Pieta looks.

montyb on 2012-05-26 17:59:54
It sounds like what a loyal dog would say.

Quizzical on 2013-11-01 13:04:05
Just thought I would comment, since no one has in over a year.

wvwoman on 2014-09-23 12:21:05
i've always liked pootie's comment about having to be very bendy!!

marrin on 2014-12-01 09:15:03
gryhnd51 figured it out

Beagle on 2015-03-04 04:27:14
My question is, why wouldn't he just tell the truth at the other person's feet if he wants to die in their arms?!

montyb on 2015-09-26 10:32:03
His girl must have arms like a gibbon.

kb83 on 2015-12-10 09:16:48
i would be okay with dying at your feet and lying in your arms.

Last edited by LLapp : 07-01-2016 at 09:18 PM. Reason: Add title
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Old 07-01-2016, 09:21 PM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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Default Impossible Anatomy, part II

"When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself." Louis Nizer

montyb on 2013-01-04 12:17:40
This guy must have incredibly long, prehensile thumbs.

maradnu on 2013-08-21 15:40:21
Maybe he is pointing with his thumb?

wvwoman on 2014-04-13 03:11:06
(a thumb is a finger, isn't it?) when i point with my index finger, three fingers are aimed in my direction and my thumb is toward the floor.

kb83 on 2014-07-24 18:11:46
these comments are too funny! Forget about the point, analyze the physics of the situation-- I love it.

kb83 on 2015-06-12 03:39:49
He was a great attorney, maybe his fingers and thumb were different because of long courtroom training.

Lurker on 2015-12-08 10:48:02
Maybe he was pointing his thumb, so the other four fingers would be pointing back.

kb83 on 2016-05-18 05:14:03
I don't think Louis Nizer ever pointed his finger at a man, otherwise, he'd be aware of these orthopedic issues.
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Old 07-02-2016, 04:13 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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"Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
M. Kathleen Casey

puffybob on 2010-07-08 17:03:45

agatha on 2010-12-27 12:51:55
What a horrifying thought

madrone on 2011-09-12 02:10:34
If you learn how to deal with pain, suffering can be alleviated.

nevadasmith68 on 2013-08-27 17:57:38
Kathleen went on to write "Casey At The Bat".

abra on 2013-09-10 08:42:01
You got me Nevada. I was amazed to see that Casey at the Bat was written by a woman. Of course when I googled it, I saw it wasn't so.

bansaisequoia on 2014-08-07 14:22:15
When Nevada said that, he wasn't in Ernest Thayer.

abra on 2015-04-06 13:25:30
Funny, bansai. Of course, I've learned not to be so naive, about nevada's comments.

LLapp on 2016-05-20 15:53:40
Few players here realize that nevadasmith used to play guitar for the Monkees. His mom invented Liquid Paper.
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Old 07-04-2016, 12:22 PM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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"The hardest work of all is to do nothing. " Proverb

puzzleme on 2012-09-07 07:23:41
No wonder I'm so exhausted.

puffybob on 2012-12-21 22:03:57
Hire me!
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Old 07-04-2016, 01:58 PM
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universalmom universalmom is offline
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"History is powerful stuff. One day your world is fine. The next day it's knocked for a metaphysical loop."
— Henry Bromell

dovid1946 on 2015-03-24 06:17:35
or a metaphysical pool

haverwench on 2015-08-14 16:57:42
No, it would have to be a metalhysicap pool.
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Old 07-04-2016, 11:44 PM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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Default Roxanne unearths Alexander's great "Understudy Fish" ruse

One of the joys of this site is leaving some silly half-baked comment on a quote page and forgetting about it, only to return months or years later to find what became of the thread. This one amazed me.

"To achieve greatness one should live as if they will never die." Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Queethebean on 2012-08-02 20:40:34
And on the other hand, Tim McGraw suggests that we live like we were dying. Tim? Francois? Tim? Francois? I don't know who to believe.

abra on 2014-12-20 16:04:58

One and they -ugh.

puffybob on 2015-03-04 16:07:01
Must be the translator's fault, no?

haverwench on 2015-03-20 17:07:35
Would "he" be better? That would imply that the advice doesn't apply to women.

LLapp on 2015-03-25 05:38:53
To achieve greatness, one should live as if immortal.

lainecap on 2015-07-06 07:53:28

LLapp on 2015-08-10 11:04:47
Or maybe "they" refers to other people named in the previous sentence? Hmm, I wonder who they might be.

kb83 on 2015-08-13 08:29:17
I'm guessing it is the translation. French probably had "he", and the translator tried to put it in modern gender-neutral English. This is truly a linguistic dilemma that has yet to be solved.

LLapp on 2015-11-21 12:31:06
I'd rather imagine what came before this sentence, like maybe, "You cannot always be worrying about how your goldfish are doing!! It's tearing you apart! To achieve greatness one should live as if they [i.e., your pet goldfish] will never die."

Roxanne on 2016-03-04 00:20:48
Secrets of Alexander's Greatness Unearthed A recently-unrolled papyrus has revealed to scholars that Alexander the Great was kept from worrying about his goldfish by a simple ruse. According to the fragment of a hitherto-unknown biography of Alexander, when one of the fish appeared to be a bit under the weather, the general's trusted friend and bodyguard Hephaestion quickly and secretly replaced the fish with an identical, healthy specimen. The papyrus includes diagrams of the tank, carried out of sight at the end of Alexander's supply train, that housed the understudy fish. Having no worries about his fish, Alexander was able to achieve greatness and conquer lands beyond the Mediterranean as far east as the Indus River. On Hephaestion's death, however, upkeep of the tank of spare fish was no longer maintained, and it is thought that subsequent illness and death among Alexander's piscine pets brought on stress and anxiety that reduced the strength of his immune system and, ultimately, caused the death of the great military commander.
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