Monty's excellent comeback, plus a bonus word list
"The fatter the flea the leaner the dog." — Proverb
chopstix on August 1st, 2013
jnoodles on March 9th, 2015
kb83 on July 22nd, 2015
Comma after "flea". And what is the higher lesson in this proverb?
montyb on July 24th, 2015
That fleas are too busy with their ectoparasitic ways to punctuate properly?
SwampySox on February 29th, 2016
They sucked it right out of the quote.
GtrZan on July 6th, 2017
I'll take "4-letter words that end in A" for 1000, Alex
LLapp on October 26th, 2017
4-letter words that end in A? Gosh, after "flea," I have no idea.
badbob on February 19th, 2018
idea, lava coma sofa saga papa mesa rota
xlr8r on September 4th, 2018
PLUS: gila kiva kola mica mila nova pica plea puma sera sima siva soda soma soya tuba tuna urea visa vita whoa yoga zeta.
lewisengr on October 1st, 2018
Llapp makes this tread for me.
"The only limits are, as always, those of vision."
— James Broughton
bansaisequoia on October 16th, 2012
I am nyctalopic, myopic and presbyopic.
wvwoman on October 22nd, 2012
ahh, the 'over 40' condition!
montyb on December 24th, 2012
Welcome to the club, Bansai. Except, instead of nyctalopia, I am chromatically challenged.
tjsrc on November 8th, 2013
Everyone's a geezer on this site geez.
abra on June 26th, 2016
I swear, it happens on your fortieth birthday.
LLapp on September 15th, 2017
I was 42. I remember it vividly: the optometrist at Lenscrafters was going on and on in the little dark room about my "two precriptions" and I said, "Why do you keep saying TWO prescriptions?" and then she used the foreign word "presbyopia" and mentioned near vision and far vision, and that's when I shouted "Wait . . . are you tellin' me I need BIFOCALS?!" and she said "I'm . . . I'm so sorry." I went back out to the store, where my two children were having fun trying on frames, and told them "Hey! Guess what I need! It starts with a B." My son said, "Uh....boxer shorts?" I said "It starts with a B and it ends in an old age home!" "Okay, I'm guessing bifocals," he said. "RIGHT," I barked. He laughed. Now he's 34 and balding. Hah.
BrainCellKeeper on December 31st, 2017
At around age 48, I needed to start dying my hair to cover the gray and wearing cheaters to read small, blurry letters.
marnita on January 7th, 2018
40, yep, that sounds about right. The good news is that my eyes haven't gotten much worse since then (I''m pushing 75). Except for the incipient cataracts, of course.
NotTooOld on August 3rd, 2018
My first pair of glasses were trifocals. Talk about a hard adjustment.
Of passwords and toothbrushes
"Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don't let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months."
— Clifford Stoll
Scorpion451 on January 9th, 2014
oddcouple on April 25th, 2015
But then you got another one to try to remember. I have about 20 different password and I can't remember half.
montyb on July 12th, 2015
But I bet you know where your toothbrush is, oddcouple.
abra on April 8th, 2016
Years ago, I saw Clifford Stoll on one of the morning news shows, probably GMA, after he had tracked down a KGB hacker. He seems WAY hyper, but he's a really interesting person.
oddcouple on March 28th, 2017
Yes, monty. I know where my toothbrush is. But I only have to keep track of one.
LLapp on April 18th, 2017
And when you go to the store and buy the exact same kind of toothbrush, nobody stops you and says you can't pick the same toothbrush as you did for the last six toothbrushes.
tgreen517 on August 13th, 2017
Maybe you should write your password on your toothbrush!
marnita on February 14th, 2018
So far nobody has tried to hack my toothbrush.
SippyGurl on September 27th, 2018
lol tgreen! awesome
Lots to think about
"Faith must have adequate evidence, else it is mere superstition."
— Alexander Hodge
oddcouple on December 7th, 2014
But if it had adequate evidence, would it really be faith?
mikehallbackhoe on February 7th, 2015
faith is based on knowledge of the past. I have faith that I can solve the next cryptogram..... maybe....
Beagle on February 25th, 2015
I don't think Mr. Hodge understands what faith is.
abra on April 8th, 2015
I think you're right, Beagle.
viktoria on June 20th, 2015
I'm with oddcouple.
marnita on February 29th, 2016
I'm with mike.
LLapp on June 5th, 2016
I like Ike.
darkyr on November 16th, 2016
I'm with Lightyr.
SippyGurl on January 7th, 2017
i'm with stupid. oh wait, that's a mirror
Persephone59 on December 10th, 2017
I want to know why, if there is a god (or more), why is faith necessary? Why would a loving deity require folks to believe, just for the hell of it (pun intended)? Why would god hide. Why would god play head games? I'm not an atheist, just agnostic. I don't understand why people want so much to believe. What's wrong with eternal sleep? I believe in morals and crime and mostly, the golden rule, and I think religion is just derived from that.
Queethebean on June 22nd, 2018
I'm with Persephone.
YorkiesRule on August 9th, 2018
Persephone, who says God requires you to believe in him? If God exists, then he exists whether or not you or anyone else believe in him, and his existence doesn't depend on faith. It's people who need faith, not God. Faith helps people understand the world and make right moral choices. Some people are so whole that they don't need faith, and you could be one of them. But the majority of people are lost if they don't have faith. That's why having faith is important, whether or not God actually exists. By the way, I'm not speaking on behalf of any religion, everything I said is just my personal opinion.
Eureka on December 8th, 2018
A mix of funny and insightful comments on this one. I have faith that someone will eventually read this comment.
"And now, I'm just trying to change the world, one sequin at a time."
— Lady Gaga
gryhnd51 on March 14th, 2014
Or by one slab of meat at a time?
ulua on April 24th, 2014
maradnu on July 22nd, 2016
Offensive? Silly perhaps.
Spellbinder44 on September 29th, 2016
Will google meaning of sequin after posting this comment . Probably has something to do with stitching ..?
kb83 on September 9th, 2017
LLapp on June 17th, 2018
Oh my, are sequins an item of a bygone era already?
maradnu on January 1st, 2019
I couldn't tell you the last time I wore a sequin
"Although I am absolutely without training in the exact sciences, I often seem to have more in common with mathematicians than with my fellow artists." — M. C. Escher
montyb on May 19th, 2012
Escher is one of my favorite artists.
nehiyawiskwewniya on May 30th, 2013
never heard of him, must goggle him.
wvwoman on September 21st, 2013
you'll no doubt recognize his art when you see it.
tjsrc on November 9th, 2013
You should all check out the 3D printing models they made of some of his buildings, they're insane.
montyb on March 15th, 2014
How could one not have heard of Escher?
abra on June 28th, 2015
You can get lost in Escher's pictures. They're incredible.
darkyr on July 22nd, 2016
There was a time when each of us had not yet heard of Escher, then we had, then we come back around to not having heard of him. It is the nature of Escher.
bansaisequoia on January 25th, 2017
When I was a kid, I used to create pictures on my Escher-Sketch. Then I would shake it up, and the aluminum powder would be redistributed and the images erased.
kb83 on February 21st, 2017
Amazing how he created things that endlessly baffle you.
318WOZ on December 13th, 2018
I once had an Escher-Sketch, too, bansaisequoia! When I set it down and left the room, I fell through the floor and landed at the same place I'd been sitting before. Weirdest thing.
You guys are hilarious!
"Freedom is a package deal - with it comes responsibilities and consequences. "
montyb on January 1st, 2015
Order now and we'll send you a second set absolutely free, plus shipping and handling.
slow1 on March 29th, 2015
Montyb -- funny! Those ads are soooo annoying.
marnita on May 26th, 2017
But wait! There's more!
abra on July 11th, 2017
If you order now...
Roxanne on December 9th, 2017
If you order now, you get this regime destabilizer absolutely free -- perfect for home, school, or elected office! Call now! Undercover operators are standing by!
"The footprint of the owner is the best manure." — English Proverb
puzzleme on April 23rd, 2013
The footprint of THIS owner is best kept out of the manure, thankew.
montyb on June 1st, 2013
I think puzzleme has summed it up rather nicely.
figmo on March 14th, 2014
Well dung, puzzleme!
"Every morning is a fresh beginning. Every day is the world made new. Today is a new day. Today is my world made new. I have lived all my life up to this moment, to come to this day."
— Dan Custer
universalmom on September 25th, 2012
Are we supposed to mutter this to ourselves every morning?
wvwoman on February 24th, 2013
only if you feel the need, universalmom. (your comment made me giggle!)
abra on January 26th, 2014
I'd have a hard time remembering that, the first thing in the morning. Maybe around lunchtime would be better. Every lunchtime is a new beginning...
debzhaus on January 30th, 2014
Okay, it's time to make the donuts...
skoogie2 on February 15th, 2014
Oh my gosh, these comments made me laugh!
kb83 on March 31st, 2014
Or was it what General Custer muttered the day of his last stand?
abra on July 15th, 2014
debzhaus, we use the "tine to make the donuts" line around here all the time. It made me smile. I'm glad someone else remembers it.
montyb on October 16th, 2014
Geez Dan, that's setting the bar a little low.
LLapp on May 21st, 2015
By the time I finished reciting this long tribute to Now, it was tomorrow.
LLapp on October 22nd, 2016
As for affirmations to keep myself on task, I prefer "Today is an important day."
skeeter on October 22nd, 2017
abra, your first comment has me laughing.
badbob on May 19th, 2018
General Custer last mutter was "damn!, look at all the Indians"
"When a man gets talking about himself, he seldom fails to be eloquent and often reaches the sublime. "
— Josh Billings
darkyr on May 4th, 2017
When nobody else will talk about you, you are forced to take drastic measures.
"Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds." ~ Albert Einstein