Okay, this one is not really funny, just a very wise observation, so I thought I should share it:
"Inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up."
— Pearl Buck
wvwoman on 2013-07-22 15:09:18
why did she switch from first person to second person narrative?
LLapp on 2014-10-11 14:27:14
Sudden fear of revealing intimate self, in mid-sentence. Everybody does it.
kb83 on 2016-03-15 06:41:43
Good insight, LLapp.
Can you NOT do what you think you can? Can... you... just... not?
"You can do what you think you can do and you cannot do what you think you cannot "
— Ben Stein
skoogie2 on 2013-07-22 12:17:45
I wonder how many power of positive thinking quotes there are in this world?
kb83 on 2014-05-06 10:27:07
if you think there is a benefit to a "power of positive thinking quote," then there is!
montyb on 2014-07-28 15:49:48
Can you do what you do not think of?
dovid1946 on 2015-04-04 02:53:45
anyone have a comment ? anyone? anyone? Buehler? Buehler?
abra on 2015-04-21 15:40:55
We can only travel in the same circle so long before we collide.
"If pedestrian obstacle your path, tootle horn melodiously."
— Japanese guide for English-speaking drivers
gryhnd51 on 2012-03-02 17:53:14
I love that the Japanese "tootle" their horns.
montyb on 2012-08-10 13:45:37
Whereas we Americans "honkle" our horns.
montyb on 2013-03-24 16:35:34
You have to admire the courtesy implied in their traffic guides.
wvwoman on 2015-07-06 04:03:53
this is the rest of the quote: If he continue to obstacle, tootle horn vigorously and utter vocal warning such as "Hi, Hi." but i like this one even better: "Beware of greasy corner where lurk skid demon. Cease step on, approach slowly, round cautiously, resume step on gradually." yep--gotta watch out for those pesky pedestrians and greasy corners!
oddcouple on 2015-09-26 14:04:25
From the same guide: At the rise of the hand of the policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass him or otherwise disrespect him.
"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. "
— Oprah Winfrey
bansaisequoia on 2012-07-13 19:35:55
Sure. Oprah takes the bus when her limo breaks down. And I have to pilot the space shuttle when the matter/antimatter reintegrator pods have bollixed up the dilithium crystals on my starship.
montyb on 2012-07-23 21:31:40
saipanwriter on 2012-09-17 04:40:41
bansai..now THAT should be a quote here in cryptogram land.
"I tell you Wellington is a bad general, the English are bad soldiers; we will settle this matter by lunch time. "
— Napoleon Bonaparte
opallady on 2009-02-17 14:03:35
Never underestimate your enemy.
AmberRose on 2009-12-05 00:15:51
Oops, famous last words.
kb83 on 2014-09-29 13:20:26
Napoleon really had a beef with him.
jason jiujitsu on 2014-11-25 04:36:13
He had a steak in the matter.
montyb on 2014-12-28 09:15:39
But Napoleon ended up eating crow.
"What an artist the world is losing in me!" — Nero Claudius Caesar
kb83 on 2014-12-29 09:37:47
Even then, he was thinking of others.
Last edited by LLapp : 07-07-2016 at 12:16 AM. Reason: format
"The mind is the limit. As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it—as long as you really believe 100 percent." — Arnold Schwarzenegger
ernests on 2010-02-19 00:53:07
I believe I can fly. I really really do. I'm just going to go and jump off the roof.
LiveLoveLaugh on 2011-05-15 21:51:54
you can't believe him, don't do it.
jnoodles on 2013-05-09 19:57:20
I'm envisioning beating bansaisequoia. Every puzzle in less than two seconds. Wait. I should learn to type fast first. I'm envisioning boifhg ablbeiy to tyhprd fersyt.
"Once I planned to write a book of poems entirely about the things in my pocket. But I found it would be too long; and the age of the great epics is past. "
— Gilbert Chesterton
maradnu on 2009-03-03 10:49:48
Maybe he should clean his pockets out occasionally.
kat on 2009-05-15 17:33:19
O coins, O lint, O set of keys...
debzhaus on 2012-09-17 03:10:31
montyb on 2013-06-09 15:11:34
Thy chapstick and thy cell phone, they comfort me.
Prezkot on 2014-06-05 12:13:27
The heroine of this adventure is named Polly.
JD_1947 on 2014-12-02 03:33:45
Humorous man . . . oh safety matches, thy watch fob, an ode to my can of snoose . . a scant bit of paper and a picture of my beau . . . .
dovid1946 on 2015-02-18 09:44:23
being a good Catholic, I am sure that there were no condoms in his pockets.
LLapp on 2015-04-01 20:09:07
david, watch that dangling modifier! (Favorite example of same: "Being in a dilapidated condition, I was able to buy the house very cheap." - Strunk & White)
abra on 2015-04-28 09:34:30
It's like you people (the grammarians) speak another language. I never understand, but I stand in awe.
dovid1946 on 2015-05-19 09:43:03
I have been chastised by the grammarian in our midst.
larry149 on 2015-08-24 05:44:27
abra, the language we grammarians speak is called English.
wvwoman on 2015-11-10 08:46:05
i like to write a comment here the way i might speak it: prepositions at the ends of sentences, slang, sentence fragments and all. anything, grammatically speaking, should be ok here. please don't be tempted to correct me!
marnita on 2016-03-23 04:09:56
There are reasons for grammar. A lack of it tends to create nonsense, or convey a meaning one does not intend, as in dovid's comment and LLapp's example. There is nothing wrong with slang and informal speech, but it needs to hang together. And there is no rule in English grammar against ending a sentence with a preposition.
"Behold, my son, with what little wisdom the world is ruled." — Count Axel Gustafson Oxenstierna
Lurker on 2011-07-27 23:59:20
I think this quote was picked just for the author's name. That's certainly a mouthful.
mumu on 2011-09-16 19:23:10
The Count was my great uncle, and he was a fine man.
kb77 on 2011-09-25 18:56:04
bazinga on 2012-02-21 00:15:17
Queethebean on 2013-02-21 18:57:24
Surely you've heard of mumu Oxenstierna?
Annamariah on 2014-06-07 23:22:18
Oxenstierna is a noble Swedish name.
tskaggs6 on 2014-09-27 10:33:40
Well, the count is NOT my great-uncle. In case anyone was wondering.
cherylab1963 on 2014-10-21 01:28:05
Great great great great great great great great *takes a deep breath* great great uncle.
drebosy4eto on 2015-02-19 04:17:24
That's a rare case in which the name of the author is almost as long as the quote itself.
kb83 on 2015-07-08 08:59:18
Ah yes, poor Axie, we knew him well.
puzzleme on 2015-07-13 19:47:46
"Gustafson" is missing its 3rd "s". I'll let you all guesss where to put it...
viktoria on 2015-07-24 03:14:12
Axel was cool. He was Gustavus Adolphus's right hand man and they had a great partnership. He often acted as his viceroy when Gustavus was away fighting in the Thirty Years' War. Gustavus was an incredible king,,,not just militarily, but in economics, education and other domestic reforms that caused Sweden to become a dominant power at that time.
wvwoman on 2015-08-16 20:47:49
thanks, viktoria--i wish we had bios for all the quote authors.
"Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. "
bansaisequoia on 2009-10-17 23:09:26
I'm wondering what lyrics he considered to be too stupid to be spoken in the 18th Century. What if he had lived to hear Tim Pan Alley, scat singing and rock and roll? Who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop?
wordloon on 2011-10-19 03:09:23
Would he be insulted that his own words are sung in Leonard Bernstein's "Candide"?
skoogie2 on 2014-04-14 03:39:15
hahhaha I found this 16th century humor hysterical! It applies today too in many cases!
debzhaus on 2014-10-16 16:14:51
LLapp on 2015-02-15 21:41:44
Someone left the cake out in the rain. I don't think that I can it 'cause it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again. OH NO.
LLapp on 2015-02-19 17:14:21
(^ that I can TAKE it . . . )
abra on 2015-08-11 15:33:45
Those are some of the most stupid lyrics ever, LLapp, but sung with SO much drama.
oddcouple on 2015-12-05 06:35:05
Marezy doats and doesy doats and liddle lambesedivy