Old 08-08-2017, 01:52 PM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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"The learning and knowledge that we have, is, at the most, but little compared with that of which we are ignorant." — Plato

badbob on 2016-08-19 00:55:58
how did they know that they lived in B C? i know that Play-doh and his cronies were smart but c'mon

marnita on 2016-11-09 06:43:20
Where does it say anything about knowing they lived in B.C.?

SippyGurl on 2017-02-16 21:08:46
it's in his beard, like 'nina'
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Old 08-11-2017, 04:11 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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Default Beware the dancer.

"Dancing begets warmth, which is the parent of wantonness. It is, Sir, the great grandfather of cuckoldom. "

nu2dis on 2010-02-20 17:17:57
what on earth is "CUCKOLDOM"

steve24 on 2010-02-21 19:54:45
cuckoldom means a husband whose wife has commited aldutery

fishbum on 2011-03-26 21:34:18
What on earth is "aldutery"?

countessofmontecrypto on 2011-11-28 19:29:34
Al Dutery is Gary Dutery's brother.

gryhnd51 on 2012-09-27 21:47:13
The quote is ridiculous all by itself, and made me laugh. However, after reading the comments, I was laughing out loud! There are some VERY witty folks on this site.

wvwoman on 2013-09-22 09:35:30
i agree, gryhnd51!

universalmom on 2014-01-18 13:58:36
I've heard of cuckoldry, never cuckoldom!

bwbaer on 2014-02-07 08:43:07
Those 18th century gadabouts!

lainecap on 2014-12-11 15:33:14
gryhnd51 is only half right about the site.

judy100 on 2015-03-13 05:27:12
That's why some dancing classes are for married couples only.

susanith on 2016-12-20 09:17:16
Back in the day when dancing was seen as sinful.

darkyr on 2017-01-17 02:43:22
Mr Dutery? Me and the boys saw your wife dancing the other day. We all pitched in and bought her some leg warmers. Thought maybe she'd wear 'em next time she dances. You don't mind none, do you?

susanith on 2017-06-05 13:27:37
You lost me with the Dutery family.
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Old 08-14-2017, 08:43 PM
LLapp's Avatar
LLapp LLapp is online now
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"There has never been a statue erected to honor a critic." — Zig Ziglar

montyb on 2012-05-17 19:48:16
If that ever happens, someone will write a review.

Allen on 2013-05-20 16:14:04
Now, don't be critical.

kb83 on 2014-06-10 05:00:52
Yet they are so important.

viktoria on 2015-08-17 01:01:51
There's a statue of Roger Ebert in Illinois.

LLapp on 2016-01-18 09:10:45
Wow, there is? That's great.

jimdgar on 2016-04-20 06:48:10
There has never been a statue erected to honor anyone named "Zig".

larry149 on 2016-05-27 08:07:39
I thought this was from Oscar Wilde.

darkyr on 2016-06-22 07:02:10
Statues are a human construct, much like critics. Critics, therefore, are their own statues.

kb83 on 2017-08-09 02:52:36
Thanks, viktoria! Would a statue of a critic be a statue of limitations?
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Old 08-15-2017, 10:15 AM
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aerie aerie is offline
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"Many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view."
— George Lucas

PianoManGidley on 2010-12-12 22:31:23
He may not have said it this way, but it should be "Many of the truths to which we cling..."

Lurker on 2011-12-02 23:55:19
Look, it's Obi-Wan Kenobi. Jedis aren't exactly known for their grammar skills. Besides, he was dead at the time. Cut the guy some slack.

WRQ9 on 2012-07-30 14:45:27
That's not the truth you're clinging to!

Barnabas on 2013-08-08 17:34:23
Or as Yoda might put it, "Depend greatly on our own point of view, we do to cling to many truths."

LLapp on 2015-07-15 17:48:04
PianoMan, there is no rule in English against ending a phrase or sentence with a preposition. That preposition rule that many people cite is true for Latin but has never been true for English. (If anybody out there wants to read one of the most delightful grammar essays ever written, pick up Fowler's "Modern English Usage," and look up the topic called "Preposition at End." He spends more than two pages tearing this superstition to neat little bits.)

skeeter on 2015-08-11 09:34:39
Designing Women's character, Charlene: I asked this Northern woman, "Where are y'all from?" And she said, "I'm from a place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions." So I said, "Okay, where are y'all from, bitch?"
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Old 08-15-2017, 02:36 PM
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LLapp LLapp is online now
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"My spelling is wobbly. It's good spelling but it wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places." — Alan Alexander Milne

bansaisequoia on 2010-01-19 18:14:23
He's just making excuses for not solving cryptograms.

paulm48329 on 2011-08-31 23:53:01
Sounds like a load of Pooh...

inflight on 2012-09-08 05:29:00
Dyslexia strikes Winnie the Hoop.

wvwoman on 2013-05-29 03:18:35
enjoying the humorous comments!

Barnabas on 2013-06-06 15:37:32
I wendor if Wninnie had the smae preblom?

sgardzal on 2013-09-01 07:22:29
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

montyb on 2014-02-13 14:20:08
I'll be dmnaed.

abracadebra on 2014-12-29 13:50:46
Whoa! Impressive sgardzal

kb83 on 2015-09-03 11:58:25
adn to thnik I thohgut it maertted

IlLatino on 2015-11-16 05:24:08
sgardzal, I hope you don't start writing cryptograms. You do, and i'm outa here.
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Old 08-16-2017, 04:14 AM
oddcouple oddcouple is online now
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Default kb83 had me chortling on this one

"Why harass with eternal purposes a mind too weak to grasp them? "
— Horace

fishbum on 2013-10-18 08:31:03
Just let it go!

Allen on 2014-01-15 03:51:14
Yeah, why!

kb83 on 2015-05-19 04:03:12
Did you hear the one about the guy who was arrested for transporting a gull across a sedate lion for immortal porpoises?

LLapp on 2015-08-22 22:07:18
I heard it as transporting a miner across staid lions.

kb83 on 2015-11-06 03:48:49
Well mine was about a bird (gull) found in Africa, that had a special substance that, when given to porpoises, gave them immortality, but the scientists had to trek into deepest Africa, and finally had to cross a large pit with a lion sleeping at the bottom. Next time you're here, tell yours, Llapp!

LLapp on 2015-11-14 20:54:03
I remembered after I commented that it WAS "gull" and not "miner" -- I guess in my head I was looking for a pun on "minor." Anyway, the joke I recall was pretty much like what you told. At the end, the scientist is arrested for "transporting a gull over staid lions for immortal porpoises." So....who else has one?

kb83 on 2017-04-05 02:42:09
LLapp, another version involves a Mynah bird! Also: A tribe of Native Americans generally referred to their woman by the animal hide with which they made their blanket. Thus, one woman might be known as Squaw of Buffalo Hide, while another might be known as Squaw of Deer Hide. This tribe had a particularly large and strong woman, with a very unique (for North America anyway) animal hide for her blanket. This woman was known as Squaw of Hippopotamus hide, and she was as large and powerful as the animal from which her blanket was made. Year after year, this woman entered the tribal wrestling tournament, and easily defeated all challengers; male or female. As the men of the tribe admired her strength and power, this made many of the other woman of the tribe extremely jealous. One year, two of the squaws petitioned the Chief to allow them to enter their sons together as a wrestling tandem in order to wrestle Squaw of the Hippopotamus hide as a team. In this way, they hoped to see that she would no longer be champion wrestler of the tribe. As the luck of the draw would have it, the two sons who were wrestling as a tandem met the squaw in the final and championship round of the wrestling contest. As the match began, it became clear that the squaw had finally met an opponent that was her equal. The two sons wrestled and struggled vigorously and were clearly on an equal footing with the powerful squaw. Their match lasted for hours without a clear victor. Finally the chief intervened and declared that, in the interests of the health and safety of the wrestlers, the match was to be terminated and that he would declare a winner. The chief retired to his teepee and contemplated the great struggle he had witnessed, and found it extremely difficult to decide a winner. While the two young men had clearly outmatched the squaw, he found it difficult to force the squaw to relinquish her tribal championship. After all, it had taken two young men to finally provide her with a decent match. Finally, after much deliberation, the chief came out from his teepee, and announced that the contest was a tie, adding… “Clearly, the Squaw of the hide of the Hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides!”

slow1 on 2017-04-09 07:59:36
kb83 = VERBOSE!

LLapp on 2017-05-04 13:42:18
. . . but completely welcome! kb83, your Squaw of the Hippopotamus joke could not have been better timed. My sweetheart, a former high school math teacher and wrestling coach (and an insufferable punster), broke his elbow a few days ago, just in time to show up with his arm in a sling at the school's upcoming Hall of Fame ceremony this weekend. I read him your joke just now, and halfway through it he was already figuring out the punchline. Definitely gave him a smile. Thank you!
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Old 08-16-2017, 09:22 AM
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YorkiesRule YorkiesRule is offline
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"I begin with the principle that all men are bores. Surely no one will prove himself so great a bore as to contradict me in this. "
— Soren Kierkegaard

maradnu on 2009-02-22 23:48:40
Well, I will certainly concede that Kierkegaard was a bore.

opallady on 2009-05-12 18:51:24
Perhaps he was just bored.

wvwoman on 2012-08-14 08:33:03

montyb on 2014-01-23 08:51:03
I'll take you up on this, Soren. Meet me at Flanagan's next Tuesday.

jnoodles on 2015-04-05 04:37:09
A boring, conceited, manipulative, self absorbed philosopher. Aren't they all? Surely no one will prove me wrong on this.

LLapp on 2015-07-11 10:57:43
I assume the longer quote ends with "Anyone? Anyone?

montyb on 2015-07-11 16:31:18
Soren, you bum. You never showed.

LLapp on 2017-03-09 18:02:42
He's dead, monty. Cut him some slack.
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Old 08-16-2017, 07:52 PM
LLapp's Avatar
LLapp LLapp is online now
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"You will find that the mere resolve not to be useless, and the honest desire to help other people, will, in the quickest and delicatest ways, improve yourself." — John Ruskin

iltquilt on 2012-07-09 23:35:16
"delicatest"? Really? I know that the very definition of language is flexibility (i.e., that words come in and go out), but "delicatest"?

abra on 2013-10-06 15:15:20
DELICATEST is funny, it seems like even more than a hundred years ago, people would have said "more delicate". But language does evolve.

kb83 on 2014-07-11 08:50:18
delicate, delicater, delicatest, delicatessen.
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Old 08-19-2017, 04:37 PM
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aerie aerie is offline
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Posts: 133

"Our minds are like our stomachs; they are whetted by the change of their food, and variety supplies both with fresh appetites."
— Quintilian

marnita on 2015-10-05 19:45:39
Cryptograms - chocolate for the mind!
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Old 08-19-2017, 04:49 PM
LLapp's Avatar
LLapp LLapp is online now
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Default Another limerick from kb83

"There was a young man of Dundoo, whose limericks stopped at line two." — Anonymous

kb83 on 2014-10-26 09:46:38
But thanks to his friends/ There were no loose ends,/ And so he could start all anew.

For more of the kb83 limerick collection, see this post:
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