"Genealogy is based on the obviously silly idea that there is no such thing as a bastard. "
— Nicolas Martin
maridex love on 2010-06-14 14:22:01
not bad.. its quite difficult..
maradnu on 2013-09-21 12:15:26
True, but prior to DNA testing, one could not easily track illegitimate descendants to their proper fathers. Even now, it is difficult to do so for more than a few generations.
montyb on 2014-02-23 04:58:56
Martin never met my boss.
JenDiaz72 on 2014-10-02 08:14:23
There's the boss thing again montyb... you crack me up... It is like your version of "That's what she said"...
Optimism is the foundation of courage."
— Nicholas Murray Butler
Highpoint on 2015-03-17 19:21:27
I'd say ignorance is the foundation of courage.
sexytary on 2016-05-05 14:36:33
My foundation is Estee. Optimism.. hmm.. I have not heard of that brand before.. hmm.
"Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are."
— Anthelme Brillat-Savarin
bansaisequoia on 2011-12-03 00:57:08
I eat beefcakes and studmuffins.
montyb on 2012-08-05 21:11:54
I'm kind of partial to corn dogs, myself.
iltquilt on 2013-03-14 19:38:19
Chocolate ... any kind of chocolate. What does that make me?
locodad on 2014-02-03 01:00:02
i want some homemade tacos, not from Taco Smell
momof7 on 2014-12-31 15:31:31
I have a daily hot chocolate.
universalmom on 2015-01-19 04:39:19
I'm a sea salt caramel, apparently
abra on 2015-02-02 06:38:42
I think I'm catching cold. I'd like a grilled cheese sandwich, and some home made chicken noodle soup. That's probably not what I am, but it's what I would like.
LLapp on 2015-03-01 16:06:51
(Stop me if I've told this one before . . . ) So this guy walks into his doctor's office with a sprig of parsley in one ear, asparagus in the other, and a carrot stick up his nose. He says, "Doc, what's my problem?" and the doctor says, "You're not eating right."
email@example.com on 2015-05-09 11:23:34
From the look of this guys picture,he doesn't appear to have missed too many lunches.
marnita on 2015-06-19 12:32:43
If I tell you what I eat, you can tell me that I am . . . fat.
"To say that a work of art is good, but incomprehensible to the majority of men, is the same as saying of some kind of food that it is very good but that most people can't eat it. "
— Leo Tolstoy
bansaisequoia on 2010-10-19 19:49:28
The Baroque makes me break out in hives.
Queethebean on 2013-02-01 17:00:35
You mean you Baroque out in hives?
fredsevent on 2013-02-14 23:58:05
So, for bansai, if it ain't baroque - you don't fix it?
puzzleme on 2013-03-18 06:46:28
I'm so baroque, I can't afford to fix it.
tjsrc on 2013-11-20 17:33:20
I think you guys baroque the pun barrier..
"We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are." — Adelle Davis
universalmom on 2012-09-24 15:05:57
Especially if we eat too much of it!
Jigawhammy on 2013-03-09 22:08:16
@universalmom Hah! Too true.
montyb on 2014-02-23 15:07:03
Geez, I suddenly crave a turkey sandwich.
montyb on 2014-05-10 13:11:57
Quizzical on 2014-10-17 16:02:06
With fried pork skins. Pure, natural and wholesome.
abracadebra on 2015-02-25 13:17:56
Hey, who spilled the beans,...
dovid1946 on 2015-04-29 08:30:33
I'm taking orders for pizza.
marnita on 2015-07-09 12:56:05
I'm ready for a slice of chocolate cake.
LLapp on 2015-08-18 09:00:38
Who left all these dirty dishes?
marnita on 2015-12-04 13:19:01
You would bring that up, LLapp! Now I have to go wash them.
abra on 2016-05-15 18:20:04
marnita, is the kind of person, you HOPE comes to your party.
"It is in the treatment of trifles that a person shows what they are. "
— Arthur Schopenhauer
montyb on 2012-03-17 01:25:57
The trifles or the person?
puzzleme on 2013-05-07 12:59:02
Don't trifle with us, monty.
Allen on 2013-07-06 12:45:35
You say trifles, I say truffles. Let's call the whole thing off!
Quizzical on 2014-03-15 10:22:04
From the construction of the verb tense and the plural "they", it would indicate the trifles. I don't think that is what Artie had in mind. An please, someone, get him an aspirin.
ulua on 2014-04-15 02:43:23
Yum, I love a nice chocolate toffee trifle :)
macmilh on 2014-12-18 02:15:59
Quizzical - an aspirin is a cure for trifles?
Quizzical on 2015-01-09 03:41:08
Maybe the trifles gave him a headache. Chocolate can do that.
kb83 on 2015-06-08 04:17:46
tgreen517 on 2016-04-17 07:19:48
For some reason i am hungry now.
"You know, it was only a generation ago that actors couldn't be buried in the churchyard."
— Ronald Reagan
nevadasmith68 on 2013-06-18 01:07:18
I think that should still be the law.
wvwoman on 2014-01-21 16:50:00
LLapp on 2015-01-15 19:37:50
No, we should wait until they die first, like we do for everyone else.
abra on 2015-02-11 15:38:39
Best answer, LLapp.
pegxpeg on 2015-07-29 10:04:17
lainecap on 2016-03-19 15:17:46
llapp is right
"He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words. " — Elbert Hubbard
montyb on 2014-03-22 05:51:41
fishbum on 2014-08-10 09:19:33
"Life is full of doors that don't open when you knock, equally spaced amid those that open when you don't want them to." — Roger Zelazny
oed on 2012-09-21 03:40:53
montyb on 2013-11-02 09:19:57
wobray on 2013-11-25 12:26:57
"I am the one who knocks" -- W. White
DeskJockey on 2014-10-02 03:46:17
It's gettin' dark, too dark to see...
Highpoint on 2014-11-12 11:45:54
I wish I had an ostracod named after me. Life would be complete then.
montyb on 2015-07-16 16:44:20
That is by far the weirdest knock-knock joke I have ever heard!
That li'l devil, LLapp!
"But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?"
— Mark Twain
saipanwriter on 2012-06-01 02:06:42
Believing that Satan is redeemable is the ultimate in faith! Who would have thought such from Mark Twain?
madrone on 2012-09-16 21:07:03
Do you know Samuel Clemmons? He's joking.
jnoodles on 2013-06-19 19:09:46
What's the difference, utimately, between praying 'for' and praying 'to' Satan? For a non-believer there is none. For a believer there should be none. Do Satanists tythe? Cuz I'm pretty sure they pay taxes.
LLapp on 2015-04-17 18:02:28
I think there's a big difference between praying for the redemption OF evil and praying TO the force of evil. Twain was joking, but still what he meant was praying for redemption of evil.
abra on 2015-10-19 10:24:56
ahem, I totally agree with LLapp. :o)
ruxpin66 on 2015-10-30 11:03:37
Also agree with LLapp
LLapp on 2015-12-29 14:40:40
Hehehe....my evil plan is working....
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