So it takes an unsolvable puzzle to get you to come visit me, eh? Wait till I tell my mom that we're having company. She will love telling you about her recent knee replacement surgery and proudly show off her scar. She will soon have all of you running to fetch things for her, and I will welcome the break from being nursemaid.
Since this unsolvable puzzle is likely to take a while, I suggest that you bring your jammies and your sleeping bags. The guest bedroom only has a double bed, so you will have to draw straws to see who gets the bed and who has to sleep on the living room floor. By the way, I only have coffee and Diet Coke so BYOB. Pootie, I hope you didn't post my address on the internet. Oh, and bring your umbrellas because we've had a LOT of rain recently.