Originally Posted by iltquilt
I have read the posts about and by Pootie, and I'd like to stand up here with you in her defense. It seems to me that she is an icon on this site, welcoming those who were new and who ventured into the chat, helping those who were stuck, and being a big sister to Bansai (and many others, I am sure).
Have you ever heard of or read the book "The Four Agreements"? If you haven't read it, you may want consider it. The basic premise: you make four agreements with yourself. These are probably not in the order given in the book, but it doesn't really matter: 1. Be impeccable with your word. 2. Always do your best. 3. Never take anything personally. 4. Don't assume.
These agreements, which I made with myself a couple of years ago, continue to make my daily life easier. I don't know what anyone's challenges may be. I don't know what your challenges are and you don't know what mine are. The only thing that is certain -- we all have difficulties. This is a nice site with nice folks who have forged friendships.
Remember, just because you know one thing about a person, doesn't mean you know that person.
I'm sorry I don't know you. I'm certain it is my loss.
My words were impeccable.
Sentences do usually begin with upper-case letters. I did not make things that way. I just stated a commonly-known fact. I am not sure why it is okay for Pootie to point out a slight misspelling, but not okay for me to point out errors in Pootie's writing.
I did my best.
I did not attack her with my corrections. I only pointed out errors, in the same way that she did with another person. What exactly were you and Lily defending her against? My writing to her about her writing in the same way as she wrote to Einsmallstein? My barely (if at all) existent sarcasm? Did I tell her what to do, or did I try to make her do something that she did not want to? Was I name-calling or something? Have I somehow missed what I wrote that required you to defend her against me -- something that somehow could even be assumed as being an example of disrespect for who she is and what she's going through? And really, is pointing out her errors so heinous a deed that I need to be scolded for speaking up, just as she did? Really?
I'm only asking so as to not break Agreement #4.
I did not take anything personally
. . . that is, until I felt attacked for merely pointing out errors and making a point.
I did not assume anything.
I went on what was written to me. I did not have to make assumptions about the intent of Lily's post, or of yours, for that matter. Hers seemed quite clear: Because I did not know that Pootie was seriously ill and an icon on this site, I should keep my fingers still, unless I agree with what she writes. To do otherwise is disrespectful and insensitive. Your intent seemed also evident, in your listing of The Four Agreements for me, and me alone. I am 44. I have been following the Agreements for just about 20 years. I'm not an expert, nor is my following of The Agreements anywhere near perfect, but I do all right. I just think that perhaps singling me out for your listing of them is a bit on the . . . less-than-equal-treatment side.
I sympathize with Pootie being in grave health. But how my comment on her lettering became a lesson in how I was wrong for pointing it out because of how sick she is, this is beyond me. Tell you what, though: My best and closest heart, someone with whom I was fortunate enough to share a love deeper than friendship, deeper than lovers, so deeply transcendent of family, died of horribly painful pancreatic cancer one week before he got to watch me march in graduation from grad school, in May 2011. I got to watch part of the last few weeks, as his body failed him. It was my great honor to treat his intellect as he treated mine and others', catching his errors, even as he busted me on mine. I now appreciate the offense he took when someone told me "you shouldn't say that because he's sick." I appreciate it so much more now than ever.
You are right, Lily, in one thing: You don't know me. All you know is that I treated Pootie's writing the same way she treated Einsmallstein's. And yet, you and Lily seem to have drawn conclusions about me that can in no way be based on a mere five sentences.
I think that the funniest, and perhaps saddest of all, is that this is not about Pootie, nor is any of this so-called defense of her anything she's requested on this board -- at least, not that I've seen yet. This is about two people over-reacting to my five-sentence critique on her writing style, in the same manner as she critiqued Einsmallstien's.
Perhaps I am not the only one who should reread
The Four Agreements. No-one seemed to find offense at Pootie's correction of a single-letter error in someone else's post. But my correction of the errors in her post is obviously an act against some unspoken golden rule.
Consider it a lesson learned. I'll shut up, play my games, and leave you good folks to your forum. I'm done here.