Full of dandelions, huh? So was my yard, till one day in a fit of madness I dug them up. All of them, including those long, ugly roots.
Alas. My yard never recovered from its radical surgery. Losing the weeds does not mean gaining a lush carpet of grass. That part takes cultivation.
OddCouple, John Stuart Mill made up that statistic, intentionally, in the service of rhetoric. It's called ironic overstatement, something like that, but it betrays a bleak view of the world.
And, Abra, guess what I just found at the library? Clue, the movie, on DVD. Next week, I may know what happened to the cook. Right now, I'm as Clueless as you were.
I'm trying to contain myself, but you people are too funny.
"Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more. "
— Anthony Robbins
puffybob on 2010-07-27 04:36:10
MarcusAurelius on 2011-06-15 11:41:41
fredsevent on 2011-10-08 20:55:29
Mass. Eat people, eat.
iltquilt on 2012-09-26 02:10:12
Hmm. Sounds like Soylent Green.
wordfairy on 2015-03-19 20:27:44
Proving that punctuation really can save lives. :)
"Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touchdown." -Ross Perot
montyb on 2013-06-28 21:31:57
I'm glad we did not elect a man who apparently believes that one yard equals one foot.
kb83 on 2014-05-13 16:38:43
great catch! He should use "metaphor-logic-check."
fredsevent on 2014-08-08 03:14:01
Might it not depend upon how big the foot is? Does Ross wear a 45D shoe?
LLapp on 2014-08-31 15:26:16
No. 45D earmuffs, maybe.
You don't want to get to the end of life's journey and discover you never left the interstate."
— Robert Brault
kb77 on 2011-08-24 18:13:47
that would be disappointing, especially for the europeans on the autobon.
fredsevent on 2012-02-09 06:21:50
Dude, in a fun car, on a gorgeous day, blasting great music, with little traffic - I find those moments as good as any other.
opallady on 2012-04-08 22:10:52
I know people who traveled the entire length of Montana and never saw a mountain. Sad.
saipanwriter on 2012-07-23 02:10:36
still hating these motivational quotes. Brault's are among my least favorite.
Carrot on 2013-01-17 15:11:19
Blah, Blah, Blah Blogger's quotes don't even leave the driveway of his home, let alone make it to the interstate of mildly scenic or barely interesting. How GREAT it would be to see an end to his site quotes journey!!!!!!!!!!!
JetMech on 2014-02-19 12:13:01
opallady, I'm from Montana and it is impossible to drive the length and not see a mountain,,,,however, to drive the width in eastern Montana one would never see a mountain :)
chopstix on 2014-02-28 05:55:27
you got that right fredsevent!
montyb on 2014-09-06 14:56:54
universalmom on 2014-09-15 16:12:24
predictable rant from carrot - so much hate!
JD_1947 on 2014-11-18 02:06:55
Boring . . . insert your choice of words after 'you never' and you have your very own quote . . .
dovid1946 on 2014-12-24 03:49:38
I know plenty of people who died and had never left New Jersey
LLapp on 2016-03-23 07:45:30
I used to know people who went through life without leaving northeast Philadelphia.
"Everyone is unique. Compare not yourself with anyone else lest you spoil God's curriculum."
— Baal Shem Tov
(Rabbi Yisroel (Israel) ben Eliezer was born in Ukraine around 1700 CE. Through the force of a charismatic personality and profound knowledge of the tradition, he founded a branch of Judaism known as Hasidism, a fusion of mysticism (Kabbalah) and Orthodoxy. His moniker, Baal Shem Tov, means Master of the Good Name.)
dovid1946 on 2015-01-01 01:25:43
'curriculum' is probably not the proper translation from the original Yiddish, or Hebrew or Polish
montyb on 2015-07-21 01:17:17
Wait until the Texas state Board of Education gets hold of it.
Andy451 on 2016-01-24 05:12:15
So we're all just like snowflakes then? Ohhh, so that's why there's such a nasty blizzard outside right now.
kb83 on 2016-03-08 12:47:36
And just remember, you too are unique, just like everyone else.
"The becoming of man is the history of the exhaustion of his possibilities."
— Susan Sontag
LLapp on 2014-10-09 12:13:28
Now that I've seen a few of Susan Sontag's quotes, I get the impression that she built her sentences mainly out of big abstract nouns that she glued together with a series of prepositional phrases, like a protein chain. Oh if I had been her editor, I'd have forced her to write an entire book in metaphor.
"It often happens that I wake up at night and begin to think about a serious problem and decide I must tell the Pope about it. Then I wake up completely and remember that I am the Pope." — Pope John XXIII
GtrZan on 2015-02-23 09:09:32
yeah, this happens to me too.
"You get whatever accomplishment you are willing to declare. "
— Malachi Pancoast
montyb on 2014-02-27 23:05:18
I solved this inane bit of tripe!!!!
Really, really, great comment. I've laughed over it more than once.
"Desperate affairs require desperate remedies."
— Horatio Nelson
JenDiaz72 on 2015-12-17 11:14:08
saipanwriter on 2016-01-11 23:55:21
Not tooting my own horn.
LLapp's rejoinder is what makes this hilarious.
"If you want to win friends, make it a point to remember them. Remember my name and you add to my feeling of importance."
— Dale Carnegie
montyb on 2014-08-10 11:02:24
I certainly will do so, Hale.
LLapp on 2015-05-13 16:10:28
Oh Molty, that's what I was going to say!
"A great thing can only be done by a great person; and they do it without effort. " — John Ruskin
maradnu on 2009-02-22 00:54:19
bansaisequoia on 2009-09-16 18:08:53
It took Michelangelo four years to complete the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
Roxanne on 2013-08-26 02:11:08
Only because it was hard for him to get the hands right.
"You could read Kant by yourself, if you wanted; but you must share a joke with someone else. "
— Robert Louis Stevenson
bansaisequoia on 2009-05-23 20:09:43
What if I can't read Kant?
maradnu on 2010-09-07 01:22:00
haverwench on 2010-09-28 02:30:37
I think "if you wanted" is the important phrase.
montyb on 2012-03-13 15:08:33
What if you joke about Kant?
montyb on 2012-06-05 19:38:30
The Wrath of Kant.
bazinga on 2012-11-15 22:23:50
Hey, I liked Kant!
locodad on 2012-11-21 04:17:53
you kant do it you kant
puzzleme on 2013-05-26 01:50:41
Why kant you all behave here?!
maradnu on 2013-10-10 14:33:02
Kant we all just get along?
montyb on 2014-01-07 04:42:53
Actually I want to share a Coke with someone else.
wvwoman on 2014-04-21 16:14:19
i also wanted to share a coke.
"Always have some project under way - an ongoing project that goes over from day to day and thus makes each day a smaller unit of time."
— Dr. Lillian Troll
Barnabas on 2013-03-05 18:49:44
Thought life was too short already.
Suz11 on 2013-06-05 01:26:47
Advice to the suicidal?
Lurker on 2013-08-30 15:00:47
He he... her name's Troll.
Quizzical on 2014-07-16 17:02:27
I've always wondered why, in the frenzy to move to the metric system in the 1960's, time was not metricated. Ten seconds would make up a minute, ten minutes a metric hour, ten metric hours a day, ten days a metric month and ten metric months a metric year. That would be 100,000 English seconds in a metric year. This way a person who lived to be 85 years old under the old English system could live metrically to be 26,800 years old. Look how long the metric system can extend life without even any new medical advancements!
"They say genes skip generations. Maybe that's why grandparents find their grandchildren so likeable."
— Joan McIntosh
LLapp on 2015-01-06 18:21:18
I thought it was because they have a common enemy.
Wow, Bonlocker! I just played that puzzle today and thought it was a good candidate for this thread. :D
"Any affectation whatsoever in dress implies, in my mind, a flaw in the understanding."
— Philip Dormer Stanhope
fishbum on 2011-10-30 21:22:20
He'd flip out to see young people today.
puzzleme on 2013-05-07 03:18:54
A Whig in a wig. What a wag.
"I do not fear failure. I only fear the slowing up of the engine inside of me which is pounding, saying, Keep going, someone must be on top, why not you? " — George S. Patton
Queethebean on 2013-03-26 17:55:30
I guess he liked to be on top.
wvwoman on 2014-05-15 06:04:14
lots of folks do!
apologies if I'm posting too fast,too many
"Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around."
— Rick Reilly
LLapp on 2014-09-30 08:46:09
I had no idea that golf was such a brutal game until I started doing these cryptograms.
"Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window."
locodad on 2013-09-22 17:18:03
it only tookme 47513 seconds and that is not even my record
abra on 2014-08-11 14:18:10
You do have sticktoitiveness, locodad.
Andy451 on 2015-11-07 06:32:55
Doesn't Jesus know? I mean, didn't the Virgin Mary tell him one time when she was peeling onions and zucchini for the ghost with the most? And didn't his famous father tell him one time when he was knitting garments for the Trojan Horse? Why follow a religious leader if he is a complete idiot, and doesn't even know as much about the art of motorcycle maintenance as his family dog? I mean, if dogs run free then why not we to ravish in the corn? And locodad, should you really be bragging about how fast you solved the cryptogram? It took me ten times as long to solve this one. You hurt my feelings, man!
jimdgar on 2016-03-11 04:51:46
Andy, cut down on the coffee dude.
Addendum: The slowest time was only 575 seconds, so hyperbole all round:)
"There is always some frivolity in excellent minds; they have wings to rise, but also stray. "
— Joseph Joubert
Allen on 2014-03-14 02:52:14
And now they call it Attention Deficit Disorder.
"There can be no great courage where there is no confidence or assurance, and half the battle is in the conviction that we can do what we undertake. "
— Orison Swett Marden
puzzleme on 2013-05-31 01:13:24
In other words, "don't Swett the small stuff."
"The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it."
— C.C. Scott
abra on 2014-06-12 13:41:51
There are too many "broken" people in the world for me to believe this. It's a nice thought, though.
abracadebra on 2015-03-24 13:30:37
The human spirit is invisible, not invincible!
dddeedee on 2015-09-08 01:07:39
abracadebra - I like your quote better
LLapp on 2015-11-26 16:47:41
Which reminds me of...."If God created-a Man in his own image, how come-a we're not all, like, invisible?" - Father Guido Sarducci
Oh, I wish that quote was in front of me so, I could comment something about "finda the Pope in the pizza".:)
People often comment about setting those really slow records, but they don't show up. I've set a few myself, they go away. I have seen the success rate change, but only by a tenth or so, which I always think may have been a typo, by the person who mentioned it. I wish admin would clear up some of these easy questions for us.
The statistics curve looks like a bell curve, but closer examination shows that it isn't. There are 5 numbers on the x-axis; the first is the record time and the third is the average of all solvers' times (I believe). The second number is midway between the fastest and the average. The 4th number is three times the average and the 5th is five times the average. These are arbitrary boundaries for the "very slow" region of the graph and I believe it was done that way to simplify the recordkeeping and also to not spotlight those times when something interrupts us while trying to solve a puzzle.
An individual's "record slow time" appears only for that individual and is then incorporated into the average. Unless the average changes significantly, the last two numbers on the graph will remain the same.
"Fashions are the only induced epidemics, proving that epidemics can be induced by tradesmen."
— George Bernard Shaw
universalmom on 2015-10-04 03:17:03
"Nowhere can a man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul." — Marcus Aurelius
JenDiaz72 on 2015-01-06 07:16:45
I sold my soul so I have to settle with a Chrysler Lebaron...
Here's a three-and-a-half-year conversation:
"The ingenuity of the device blinds us to its utter uselessness." — British civil servant
Lurker on 2010-04-18 02:22:29
How can someone type that fast?
bansaisequoia on 2010-06-24 22:37:38
Wow, that sounds like the comment of a total rookie. (Hey! How did Lurker solve that one in just six seconds????)
Lurker on 2011-08-06 22:45:23
I do not remember writing that. For the record, the comment was about typing, not solving.
fredsevent on 2011-08-08 18:53:37
I did some research and cannot determine which device it is. Any guesses?
bansaisequoia on 2012-02-02 01:04:33
It was when Dr Who applied for his patent on the Tardis.
chopstix on 2013-11-22 06:14:30
it was a super fast keyboard
"All you need is the plan, the road map, and the courage to press on to your destination. " -- Earl Nightingale
joed on 2013-05-06 17:09:15
...and this lamp...and this ashtray...
chopstix on 2014-02-18 07:47:09
and this paddle game...and this chair...
wvwoman on 2014-09-01 03:47:53
...and plenty of water...
DeskJockey on 2014-10-09 02:17:04
....and this remote control...that's all I need...I DON"T NEED ONE OTHER THING...except this chair...
Qtip on 2015-02-10 07:28:04
I'm picking out a thermos for you....
maradnu on 2015-03-16 12:17:13
Without the ability, determination will only get you so far.
Vienna on 2015-08-15 18:13:54
I hear motivational speakers and want to say "Thank you Captain Obvious"
marnita on 2015-10-05 05:40:54
I just want to yawn.
This works best when you google a picture of Ibsen.
"The spirit of truth and the spirit of freedom - these are the pillars of society. "
— Henrik Ibsen
montyb on 2014-12-13 02:19:15
Those and pizza.
GtrZan on 2015-01-29 07:54:53
looks like he has pillars on his face!
jval on 2015-03-19 14:24:57
How did that facial hair style ever come into being?
LLapp on 2015-12-28 17:50:58
Truth and Freedom were the names of his left and right muttonchops, respectively. Together they were known as the pillars of society. At least I think that's what he meant.
"I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom."
— Simone de Beauvoir
saipanwriter on 2012-05-19 03:08:10
Who even knows what pure transparent freedom is?
fredsevent on 2012-07-15 01:34:53
madrone on 2012-11-24 19:41:09
Allen on 2013-05-14 16:14:12
Transparent freedom: freedom you can see through.
abra on 2015-02-10 15:51:52
I like the gin and vodka votes, but I think Allen has nailed it. :)
mikehallbackhoe on 2015-10-15 10:40:26
it has to be unadulterated,
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease."
Carrot on 2012-10-15 00:28:57
Gee how uplifting, the only things this quote is missing is death and taxes!
montyb on 2012-10-27 20:17:13
Oh my Lord -- I've caught it! Unclean! Unclean!
puffybob on 2012-12-26 06:47:13
Don't worry, it's curable.
joed on 2013-03-26 13:48:12
Too late, I've passed it on...
In spite of all our speeding it's still the style to be late."
— Kin Hubbard
dovid1946 on 2015-02-24 14:55:30
today it even has a name - fasionably late
dovid1946 on 2015-04-20 07:59:16
fashionably late, that is- correcting my typo from feb. 24.
wordfairy on 2015-06-04 23:48:53
You were fashionably late making your correction. :)
LLapp on 2016-04-04 19:07:26
Well I'm finally here. Traffic was ungodly and I am famished. Where's the caviar?
"Prudence and compromise are necessary means, but every man should have an imprudent end which he will not compromise."
— Charles Horton Cooley
kb83 on 2015-03-20 03:46:19
Please don't show me your imprudent end.
mikehallbackhoe on 2015-08-24 19:45:12
unless he's willing to compromise it
"In life, the first thing you must do is decide what you really want." — Alfred Armand Montapert
puzzleme on 2013-05-31 03:10:13
I really wanted to slap that doctor right back.
I really want to join in on this thread, but I can't figure out how to do it efficiently - is there a way to copy and paste, or do you guys just re-type??
I keep the solution page open and also open up a new tab on my screen. In the new tab, I open the Forum thread and start a new response. Then, between the two tabs, I do two different copy-and-paste operations: first the quote and author, and then the comment(s).
After pasting in the quote, you may notice odd formatting (the quote shows up indented, and the author appears flush right), which may or may not bother you. I fix the format on my entries, but that's because I am the most persnickety format person in Chester County.
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