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Barnabas
11-09-2012, 08:07 PM
I just completed the puzzle for H. Allen Smith's quote - "The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best"."

In the comments section, Nanrich had suggested that perhaps we list the "ten best" or the "ten hardest" or the "ten stupidest" quotes we've had to solve. I like that idea, and there is a thread going for the nearly impossible quotes to solve (though my contributions to that thread have been far from impossible). But I think it would be fun to post here quotes that we've heard somewhere along the way... humorous or thought provoking quotes that in all likelihood aren't going to be presented to us as a puzzle here at cryptograms. I'll start it off with something I found to be hilarious the first time I heard it, and it's a quote that continues to make me smile every time I think of it...

"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than have a full frontal lobotomy." - Unattributed

Anybody else out there got a funny or thought provoking quote for the day?

fishbum
11-10-2012, 12:00 AM
He who laughs, lasts.

kimmie
11-10-2012, 07:46 PM
Decaf? No, it's dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream.

WRQ9
11-10-2012, 09:49 PM
"I love you, for sentimental reasons." -William "Pat" Best

bansaisequoia
11-11-2012, 04:47 AM
"The radio is broken, it don't work no more The lovely Lisa Kranston Her father invented the secret fuel for the rocket (That's right!)
So she gets to go with a clipboard She writes it down when the meters go around And falls in love in a space warp"--Frank Zappa

http://steelkaleidoscopes.typepad.com/burning_sessions/Zappa_artsy_370.gif
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzgKUCYVhl0

momof7
11-12-2012, 10:13 PM
I just got my sister-in-law a mug that said:

INSTANT HUMAN - JUST ADD COFFEE

I loved it and I don't even drink coffee!

fishbum
11-13-2012, 11:40 PM
"It's not true that I had nothing on---I had the radio on." Marilyn Monroe

Barnabas
11-21-2012, 07:58 PM
I know you think that you understood what you thought I said, but I am not all that sure that you understand that I seldom say what I think and even less often do I mean what I say.

momof7
11-21-2012, 10:08 PM
Barnabas, that is a great one!!!
Thanx for sharing!

thresa
11-24-2012, 02:31 AM
Things can't get stuck in your craw if you don't have one.

montyb
11-24-2012, 06:10 PM
"I am not a crook!"

martayela
11-26-2012, 12:34 AM
what is a craw?:eek:

montyb
11-26-2012, 01:34 AM
A craw is an enlargement of the gullet in birds and insects. It is also called a crop.

thresa
11-26-2012, 04:47 AM
I wish I did not have a craw, but the older I become, the more things I notice that are "stuck in my craw." So, perhaps I am becoming bird-like, and I hope this condition is reversible.

Barnabas
12-06-2012, 11:18 PM
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v227/chadgumbo/mossonline.jpg
...but when the judge came down, spun me around, poured whiskey on my head and said to the jury "convict this man he's drunk" well, what could I do? - Lowell George

wvwoman
12-06-2012, 11:32 PM
that's a good one, barnabas!

WineChick
12-10-2012, 08:49 PM
If variety is the spice of life, I think I'm overseasoned!!!

(Coined years ago during a crazy (SOBER!!) period in college.)

Barnabas
12-21-2012, 05:52 PM
Since it is December 21st, 2012....

"It's the end of the world as we know it:eek: - I feel fine.":)

bansaisequoia
12-23-2012, 07:18 AM
People keep making apocalyptic predictions like there's no tomorrow!

http://www.quintanarooaldia.com/img/articles/img/420910575810394132e2f30899fbb594.jpg

montyb
12-23-2012, 06:58 PM
CLASSIC!!! I need that on a tee shirt, picture and all. You cannot imagine how many students I've had to reassure that the "end" of a calendar does not mean the end of the world.

mazereeuw
12-24-2012, 07:07 AM
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.

Barnabas
01-09-2013, 02:10 AM
"How coal is converted into 'clean coal:' Step 1 - Start with coal. Step 2 - Add the word clean in front of it." - Stephen Colbert, from his book America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't.

Barnabas
01-29-2013, 05:31 AM
Always have liked this quote, and saw it again today. It may even be a quote that we might see in the cryptograms. Anyway, goes like this... "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is the quieter voice at the end of the day that says I will try again tomorrow."

fishbum
01-29-2013, 11:38 PM
'Hey lady, your sign fell down."

Barnabas
11-20-2013, 02:00 PM
"I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.":D

tjsrc
11-20-2013, 07:03 PM
"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now."
--Zaphod Beeblebrox

mikehallbackhoe
02-15-2014, 11:35 PM
some people have more dollars than sense

montyb
02-16-2014, 07:17 AM
"How coal is converted into 'clean coal:' Step 1 - Start with coal. Step 2 - Add the word clean in front of it." - Stephen Colbert, from his book America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't.

I have seen this one a couple of times on the site.

Barnabas
02-16-2014, 10:32 AM
Really, Montyb? So we may have to solve it after all. BTW, I love "God laughing at your plans" quote, and the Mazereeuw's ego quote. Those were great!:D

Safira1239
04-12-2014, 01:02 PM
Here's one of my favorite quotes of all times: "I did not trip and fall, I attacked the floor and I believe I'm winning." "If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door." "You love flowers but you cut them, you love animals but you eat them, you tell me you love me, so now I'm really scared!" " I love everybody! Some I love to be near, others I love to be away from, and I'd just love to punch some people in the face." And my last quote is, "What did the doctor say when I burst into his office and told him I had 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute."
http://www.coolfunnyquotes.com/category/latest/10/

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abra
04-16-2014, 10:20 AM
You've probably already did solve this one. It's here but it's funny, so I'll add it.

“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.”

wvwoman
04-16-2014, 12:18 PM
i've never had that one--very funny!!!

LurkerSmurf
04-16-2014, 06:10 PM
For a silly little blockbuster, there are two excellent quotes from Tommy Lee Jones (K). They're part of the same monologue, but on two related topics.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."

"A thousand years ago, everybody knew as a fact that the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was flat. And fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on it. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow."

mikehallbackhoe
04-18-2014, 09:12 AM
"well, I guess I'm with you fellers" brother where art thou

bansaisequoia
04-19-2014, 05:05 PM
“I’m in disguise. I’m disguised as myself, and I’m a master of disguise, so that’s why you couldn’t tell I was in disguise. Not even my clone could tell. 
”
― Jarod Kintz

http://static.ddmcdn.com/gif/own-clone-identical-twin-1b.jpg
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4777806080/hB529CBE0/