Quotes/Puzzles You May Never Have To Solve

[Barnabas]

I just completed the puzzle for H. Allen Smith's quote - "The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best"."

In the comments section, Nanrich had suggested that perhaps we list the "ten best" or the "ten hardest" or the "ten stupidest" quotes we've had to solve. I like that idea, and there is a thread going for the nearly impossible quotes to solve (though my contributions to that thread have been far from impossible). But I think it would be fun to post here quotes that we've heard somewhere along the way... humorous or thought provoking quotes that in all likelihood aren't going to be presented to us as a puzzle here at cryptograms. I'll start it off with something I found to be hilarious the first time I heard it, and it's a quote that continues to make me smile every time I think of it...

"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than have a full frontal lobotomy." - Unattributed

Anybody else out there got a funny or thought provoking quote for the day?

[fishbum]

He who laughs, lasts.

[kimmie]

Decaf? No, it's dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream.

[WRQ9]

"I love you, for sentimental reasons." -William "Pat" Best

[bansaisequoia]

"The radio is broken, it don't work no more The lovely Lisa Kranston Her father invented the secret fuel for the rocket (That's right!)
So she gets to go with a clipboard She writes it down when the meters go around And falls in love in a space warp"--Frank Zappa

http://steelkaleidoscopes.typepad.com/burning_sessions/Zappa_artsy_370.gif
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YzgKUCYVhl0

[momof7]

I just got my sister-in-law a mug that said:

INSTANT HUMAN - JUST ADD COFFEE

I loved it and I don't even drink coffee!

[fishbum]

"It's not true that I had nothing on---I had the radio on." Marilyn Monroe

[Barnabas]

I know you think that you understood what you thought I said, but I am not all that sure that you understand that I seldom say what I think and even less often do I mean what I say.

[momof7]

Barnabas, that is a great one!!!
Thanx for sharing!

[thresa]

Things can't get stuck in your craw if you don't have one.

[montyb]

"I am not a crook!"

[martayela]

what is a craw?:eek:

[montyb]

A craw is an enlargement of the gullet in birds and insects. It is also called a crop.

[thresa]

I wish I did not have a craw, but the older I become, the more things I notice that are "stuck in my craw." So, perhaps I am becoming bird-like, and I hope this condition is reversible.

[Barnabas]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v227/chadgumbo/mossonline.jpg
...but when the judge came down, spun me around, poured whiskey on my head and said to the jury "convict this man he's drunk" well, what could I do? - Lowell George

[wvwoman]

that's a good one, barnabas!

[WineChick]

If variety is the spice of life, I think I'm overseasoned!!!

(Coined years ago during a crazy (SOBER!!) period in college.)

[Barnabas]

Since it is December 21st, 2012....

"It's the end of the world as we know it:eek: - I feel fine.":)

[bansaisequoia]

People keep making apocalyptic predictions like there's no tomorrow!

http://www.quintanarooaldia.com/img/articles/img/420910575810394132e2f30899fbb594.jpg

[montyb]

CLASSIC!!! I need that on a tee shirt, picture and all. You cannot imagine how many students I've had to reassure that the "end" of a calendar does not mean the end of the world.

[mazereeuw]

If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.

[Barnabas]

"How coal is converted into 'clean coal:' Step 1 - Start with coal. Step 2 - Add the word clean in front of it." - Stephen Colbert, from his book America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't.

[Barnabas]

Always have liked this quote, and saw it again today. It may even be a quote that we might see in the cryptograms. Anyway, goes like this... "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is the quieter voice at the end of the day that says I will try again tomorrow."

[fishbum]

'Hey lady, your sign fell down."