View Full Version : Quotes/Puzzles You May Never Have To Solve

11-09-2012, 08:07 PM
I just completed the puzzle for H. Allen Smith's quote - "The human animal differs from the lesser primates in his passion for lists of "Ten Best"."

In the comments section, Nanrich had suggested that perhaps we list the "ten best" or the "ten hardest" or the "ten stupidest" quotes we've had to solve. I like that idea, and there is a thread going for the nearly impossible quotes to solve (though my contributions to that thread have been far from impossible). But I think it would be fun to post here quotes that we've heard somewhere along the way... humorous or thought provoking quotes that in all likelihood aren't going to be presented to us as a puzzle here at cryptograms. I'll start it off with something I found to be hilarious the first time I heard it, and it's a quote that continues to make me smile every time I think of it...

"I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than have a full frontal lobotomy." - Unattributed

Anybody else out there got a funny or thought provoking quote for the day?

11-10-2012, 12:00 AM
He who laughs, lasts.

11-10-2012, 07:46 PM
Decaf? No, it's dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream.

11-10-2012, 09:49 PM
"I love you, for sentimental reasons." -William "Pat" Best

11-11-2012, 04:47 AM
"The radio is broken, it don't work no more The lovely Lisa Kranston Her father invented the secret fuel for the rocket (That's right!)
So she gets to go with a clipboard She writes it down when the meters go around And falls in love in a space warp"--Frank Zappa


11-12-2012, 10:13 PM
I just got my sister-in-law a mug that said:


I loved it and I don't even drink coffee!

11-13-2012, 11:40 PM
"It's not true that I had nothing on---I had the radio on." Marilyn Monroe

11-21-2012, 07:58 PM
I know you think that you understood what you thought I said, but I am not all that sure that you understand that I seldom say what I think and even less often do I mean what I say.

11-21-2012, 10:08 PM
Barnabas, that is a great one!!!
Thanx for sharing!

11-24-2012, 02:31 AM
Things can't get stuck in your craw if you don't have one.

11-24-2012, 06:10 PM
"I am not a crook!"

11-26-2012, 12:34 AM
what is a craw?:eek:

11-26-2012, 01:34 AM
A craw is an enlargement of the gullet in birds and insects. It is also called a crop.

11-26-2012, 04:47 AM
I wish I did not have a craw, but the older I become, the more things I notice that are "stuck in my craw." So, perhaps I am becoming bird-like, and I hope this condition is reversible.

12-06-2012, 11:18 PM
...but when the judge came down, spun me around, poured whiskey on my head and said to the jury "convict this man he's drunk" well, what could I do? - Lowell George

12-06-2012, 11:32 PM
that's a good one, barnabas!

12-10-2012, 08:49 PM
If variety is the spice of life, I think I'm overseasoned!!!

(Coined years ago during a crazy (SOBER!!) period in college.)

12-21-2012, 05:52 PM
Since it is December 21st, 2012....

"It's the end of the world as we know it:eek: - I feel fine.":)

12-23-2012, 07:18 AM
People keep making apocalyptic predictions like there's no tomorrow!


12-23-2012, 06:58 PM
CLASSIC!!! I need that on a tee shirt, picture and all. You cannot imagine how many students I've had to reassure that the "end" of a calendar does not mean the end of the world.

12-24-2012, 07:07 AM
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.

01-09-2013, 02:10 AM
"How coal is converted into 'clean coal:' Step 1 - Start with coal. Step 2 - Add the word clean in front of it." - Stephen Colbert, from his book America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't.

01-29-2013, 05:31 AM
Always have liked this quote, and saw it again today. It may even be a quote that we might see in the cryptograms. Anyway, goes like this... "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes it is the quieter voice at the end of the day that says I will try again tomorrow."

01-29-2013, 11:38 PM
'Hey lady, your sign fell down."

11-20-2013, 02:00 PM
"I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but I turned myself around.":D

11-20-2013, 07:03 PM
"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now."
--Zaphod Beeblebrox

02-15-2014, 11:35 PM
some people have more dollars than sense

02-16-2014, 07:17 AM
"How coal is converted into 'clean coal:' Step 1 - Start with coal. Step 2 - Add the word clean in front of it." - Stephen Colbert, from his book America Again: Re-Becoming the Greatness We Never Weren't.

I have seen this one a couple of times on the site.

02-16-2014, 10:32 AM
Really, Montyb? So we may have to solve it after all. BTW, I love "God laughing at your plans" quote, and the Mazereeuw's ego quote. Those were great!:D

04-12-2014, 01:02 PM
Here's one of my favorite quotes of all times: "I did not trip and fall, I attacked the floor and I believe I'm winning." "If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door." "You love flowers but you cut them, you love animals but you eat them, you tell me you love me, so now I'm really scared!" " I love everybody! Some I love to be near, others I love to be away from, and I'd just love to punch some people in the face." And my last quote is, "What did the doctor say when I burst into his office and told him I had 40 seconds to live? Hold on a minute."


04-16-2014, 10:20 AM
You've probably already did solve this one. It's here but it's funny, so I'll add it.

“If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.”

04-16-2014, 12:18 PM
i've never had that one--very funny!!!

04-16-2014, 06:10 PM
For a silly little blockbuster, there are two excellent quotes from Tommy Lee Jones (K). They're part of the same monologue, but on two related topics.

"A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."

"A thousand years ago, everybody knew as a fact that the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew that the Earth was flat. And fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on it. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow."

04-18-2014, 09:12 AM
"well, I guess I'm with you fellers" brother where art thou

04-19-2014, 05:05 PM
“I’m in disguise. I’m disguised as myself, and I’m a master of disguise, so that’s why you couldn’t tell I was in disguise. Not even my clone could tell. 
― Jarod Kintz


11-12-2014, 09:50 AM
What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish?

03-15-2015, 04:04 AM
"I'm in shock. Look, I've got a blanket." -Sherlock, BBC.

03-16-2015, 11:46 AM
I adore Sherlock.

03-16-2015, 06:14 PM
To abra's quote I am reminded of a story. An All Star catcher was walking down the street when he saw a baby falling out of a window. He made a perfect catch. Unfortunately, he threw a perfect strike to second base.

03-17-2015, 01:04 AM
I adore Sherlock.

It is quite addictive. :)

03-17-2015, 01:17 PM
Nudibranchs are marine molluscs of the class gastropoda, which includes snail and slugs. They possess a shell in the larval stage, but soon lose it. The term "nudibranch" translates as "naked gill". Most species are extremely colorful.

03-18-2015, 01:04 AM
Nifty! I just added that line as a tag so people wouldn't expect me to hold court at length about them. :)